The position of maid of honor is quite literally one of the greatest honors a friend or sister can bestow upon you. In being elected maid of honor, the bride is literally saying that she trusts you the most out of all her sisters or girlfriends with an event that means the world to her. Many younger sisters dream of being their older sister’s maid of honor because the adventure you two are about to embark on will be a culmination of all the memories and treasured moments the two of you shared as you grew from little girls to young women ready to commit to love. I myself am about to take this journey with my older sister and wanted to share with you the three things I feel are most important to remember as an MOH.
Stay Organized and Communicate with Gratitude
Maintaining phenomenal organizational skills is probably one of the most challenging parts of being maid of honor. There are so many components to putting together an event as complex as a wedding that sometimes it seems to take more than one brain to keep everything straight. Know each of your specific duties by the bullet point and make sure other members of the bridal party also stay on task. Make spreadsheets, lists and sub-lists. This is a great time to brush up on your communication skills, as delegation of duties may be necessary. For each event, I am keeping a detailed spreadsheet. For example, I have a separate spreadsheet with a list of wedding shower attendees, the accompanying gift registry page we are using, and which items go with which guest. When communicating and delegating, always express gratitude, even over the smallest of details. Gratitude multiplies feelings of goodwill, self-esteem, confidence and teamwork because it makes everyone around you feel seen, appreciated and a part of something great. Use the phrase, “What can I do to support you in doing this?” wherever it applies. Finally, take good care of yourself as the big day draws closer and things heat up. Honor your own truths and follow your gut. Eat well, stretch, exercise and get enough sleep so you can be at your best during planning time and crunch time. Get enough sleep the night before so you can be at your best as bachelorette festivities continue on into the night!
Throw Her a Bachelorette Party to Remember
The bachelorette party is the bride’s last hurrah and farewell to the single life. Rounds of shots and hired male entertainment are what often come to mind when people think of bachelorette parties. These elements may be right up her alley, but the most important thing to remember is that the bachelorette party should first and foremost reflect who the bride is, what and who she loves and how she likes to have fun. All of her best girlfriends should be there, if possible. Be sure to plan a time or activity where each woman in attendance can express her love for the bride. It can be simple or it can be wild and crazy. Get creative. For my sister, a low-key evening of making her home into a girls’ getaway is just the ticket. The bachelorette party in many ways stands opposite to the bridal shower that will also be occurring in the days or weeks before the wedding. Whereas the bridal shower is more of a tamer, daytime activity in which older female relatives participate, the bachelorette party is usually an untamed nighttime endeavor with a dramatic sense of finality to it — single life’s “grand finale!”
Be Her Rock
This is, in my book, the most important reminder of all. Wedding planning is hard. Things will go wrong or appear to be going in that direction. With the pressure of parental and familial expectations around weddings, the bride is sure to need a close confidante who will listen to her troubles and offer her support and if she asks, advice. Since, as her sister, you most likely know all the family members just as intimately as she does, you’ll be able to truly understand where she is coming from and offer her empathy and perspective. Sometimes the best thing you can do for her is remind her to breathe. Many brides have huge hearts and will want to please everyone and get strung too thin trying to do the impossible. Chances are, this may also mean that she will hesitate to tell you about how stressed or scared she actually is. So, set up a code text message, like “911,” so that she can easily let you know that you and a good chick flick are needed. Remind her that it is her wedding and it is her own comfort and desires that are most important.
Above all else, the bride will remember how you wore your position of maid of honor when she looks back at her wedding day. Celebrate your friendship and sisterhood together with each precious moment.
The Pure Luxe Bride Team would like to thank our real-life MOH Morgan Gray for this fabulous piece! Morgan is a writer from New York with a fetish for stationery whose recent inspiration stems from being her newly-engaged sister’s Maid of Honor. She is looking to reach those in similar shoes (or bridesmaid dresses) in the hopes of shedding light on what she’s learned during her MOH journey.